Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
