I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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