Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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