I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dignity is for republicans.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize