All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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