The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
