Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
