I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
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after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
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He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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