i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
