I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
