Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
