Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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