So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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