then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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