Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
