he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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