Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
