ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
