i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
