Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
