The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
