my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I think my vagina is haunted
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize