You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
