i need an iv and a liver transplant
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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