whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
