dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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