you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
