In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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