Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
