I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
