You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
