thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
