It's like a parade of train wrecks.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
