so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My life is pants optional.
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