I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize