WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
