Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
