I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
