I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
