the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
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Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
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party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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