Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
