Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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