I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
