pop tarts are not kleenex
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
