You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
