thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
