Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
