I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
