Four minutes until I can fart!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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