I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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