Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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