I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
