I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize