Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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