her facebook's as public as her vagina
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
