I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
